Wednesday 30 January 2008

Love- The inside story

Love is not why I would die for you.
Love is not why you would forget everything else for me.
Love is not why thorns in my heart feel like tender blossoms.
Love is not why you think nothing else matters.
Love is not why I adore your body.
Love does not exist when you plan to mould me.
Love is not because society accepts us.
Love does not mean no more nights alone,
Love does not hope that my wishes become your dreams.
Love does not mean the moon and stars visit us everyday.
Love never says no more sighs or tears.
Love cant guarantee implicit trust forever.
Love just means no matter what,
We promise to never give up, never feel alone,
Never to feel betrayed, never to expect being said thanks,
Never to pray to have our tears wiped or be told sorry.
Love just says the hands, that are together today,
Promise each other to never let go no matter what.

Tempest

Dear Tempest, blow there-on
Do take my missive for the girl I love.

I pray my love, to be the knight
You want me to be, I sincerely do.
Not for society, not for people
Not for respectability, not for me
But for love of a girl in a far far land
With tears in her eyes and pain in her heart,
The heart she once gifted to a unworthy me.

The canvas smiles, wry and sympathetic
Paint as much, I see you in every stroke
Of the brush and of the weak flesh of my heart.

I long to rush, across the rules and wrath.
Of the countless who rise against us...
What do they know my love, of love that is.
Love that was untouched and serene, so cherished
I see you now with a cup of tea that you flavour,
With the salt of your tears, the grimace you put on
To satisfy your husband, a soul wronged.

Hurt him no further, my dear love!
Not for the sycophants, not for the hypocrites
Not for your parents, not for our love.
Love him or atleast like him
Punish him no more, for the weakness of another.

Oh Tempest! The bearer of tidings,
Do tell her I loved her, but now love she must
Her husband no other, cherish him on her bosom
Hold him tight and become precious together.
So I can see them, in the hell for myself
That I choose, but choose I will
So I can gift the honey of heaven to my love.

It might have been.

Those haunting eyes, disturbing smile
Charmed I was stunned more likely
Not a word passed, not a look exchanged
All it took was a piece of paper with her face on it.

She smiled out of it and into my heart,
I never knew or felt her seep in.
I refused her hand for lack of a spine
And faith in love of a woman that never was.

Maybe she liked, maybe she thought of me,
Maybe she sneaked a glimpse
Of my face, on a piece of paper
I never will know, that she’s gone.

Think of her and wonder how she would be,
In front of me, that deep-dimpled smile,
Dancing eyes and vibrant brows,
Mocking my choice and sense, so it seems.

What would it be to share my dreams,
And dream her own.
To love her faults, adore her anger,
To be chided in her yet unknown voice.

Wonder what she would say in my ear,
When I try and coax sweet nothings out of her,
Smile and comply or demur and deny.
Either would intrigue and enchant me more.

Wonder what it would be to let
Her sleep on my lap, a half-smile on her face
With eyelashes twitching, no doubt dreaming,
While I run my fingers through her hair
And dream that this should be where
They say, If time stood still.

Wonder what it would be if the fool
Who now dreams on this paper
Had used his eyes and soul
To accept her and realize their dreams
And not cry over, what it could have been.

Sunday 20 January 2008

Whats worse not being noticed or being forgotten?

Somebody once said 'God and the soldier are remembered and sought after only in times of personal strife and war'. How true and how cruel! I wonder how many people have ever considered the fact that many things that they take for granted are in fact a rarity for many other people in this country. Its been 6 months since I last had a morsel to eat that I relished. I do eat and by most opinions eat well but where does this food rate next to the food flavoured and scented by the love of our parents, siblings and other loved ones. What wouldnt I give to share my dinner everyday with those who love me and those that I love.

People like me can count their well-wishers on the fingers of their left hands without flexing it too much. May people do ooh and aaah once and say we are doing a great job but what a pity , we rate the same accolades as a hyper rich, self-obsessed egolomaniac because he acted in and produced a juvenile drivel of a video which has been projected as the nominee for the farce that is the oscars. Talk about mediocracy showering accolades on stupidity. I am not being diplomatic or using code language, because if u have seen om shanti om u wud know what I mean. What a waste of money? Talk about the rich sucking up to the rich and the rich insulting the not so rich.

Every 20 yrs or so every average Indian remembers somebody who is distantly related who is in the defence forces and thumps his chest to parade his adoration for that so long forgotten individual. What a shame that a family feud between two sisters like India and Pakistan is required to reinforce the solidarity within their people. We were not born sisters , we were created after 5 milleniums of existence. We were the by product of blind greed of people from both sides of today's border and the impatience of a colonial empire who could not wait to get back home in time for high tea.

Though it may seem highly laughable that two neighbours need massive mobilisation of manpower to defend themselves against each other, it is a fact that being called a paki in India is an insult that is worse than something aimed at ones parentage. I am sure the vice versa is true across the border. This is a result of more than half a century of mistrust and bitterness. Two massive armies are an inevitable result when two people apparently mistrust and hate each other so much that they prefer shooting each other to shooting stray rabid dogs. In such a scenario I for one would appreciate the job done by all our soldiers in guarding our borders. There are sceptics who say that these soldiers are paid for what they do. Are they truly? in todays world what would u consider a yearly increment in salary? a measly 3oo rupees or $7.5 annual. Isnt this worse than a joke? Why then does the government report an appalling fall in the number of recruits for the armed forces every year as if it is a surprise?

Men and women who were attracted into the defense services for various reasons are now queuing up to leave, manufacturing very creative reasons for doing so, and nothing can be done to stop this exodus except to stem it when it is a trickle. A little appreciation would go a long way in reassuring the hearts of the millions of souls who sacrifice their every day today for the rest of the country's people.


We are a people who see divinity in everything. So much so that it borders on the ridiculous but how does ridiculousness matter as long as it is beneficial. It is beyond my comprehension that we adore and worship snakes and trees while we forget the Indian soldier who ensures that we enjoy the new found money and fashion during the day and sleep well at night. All that a soldier wants is to be reassured that his/her family's welfare and future is taken care of by the country whose name he breathes and utters every second to bolster his dwindling courage when his enemy is face to face and in our case this is a daily occurence.

The filmy representation of a soldier just before his death is one where he screams 'jai hind' or mouthes the choiciest of swear words. Let me assure u thats the puerile imagination of pampered film makers like the johars and the chopras. The last thought that runs through a soldiers mind is the hope that his life wont be a waste and the fervent prayer that his family should be taken care of. Shame on us if we cant reciprocate by a small gesture of appreciation and assurance for the families of the bravest souls this great country has every given birth to.

Saturday 19 January 2008

what ails and fails us and what ultimately bails us.

A country that has achieved, half of what the so called great USA has in 232 years, in just 60 yrs has nothing to be ashamed of. Till date the so called greatest democracy in the world cant bring itself to elect a leader that is either an african-american or a woman. Now, today that is exactly the predicament it is in, one of choosing between its two definitely undesirable entities, an african-american or a woman. Let me make it clear am from a country that has suppressed and destroyed the essence of womanhood for many a year but it still has managed to put forth a woman President, a woman Prime minister and umpteen women chief ministers. Whether these women deserve it or not is a different question altogether.

The country that has given me all that I have is today the trailblazer in many ways. It has a young population that is hungry to earn, preen and prove itself many times over. This young population I refer to is definitely restricted to certain pockets and is mostly intent on self-gratification but nevertheless, it does bring up the standard of life for many. The rest of the population in the same age group as these trailblazers as well as the many other freeloaders in the form of trade unions, politicians, agriculturists, small scale businessmen and NGOs do nothing but fill their coffers by exploiting this country's potential, while contributing nought to its day to day development. On top of this leech like behaviour these entities raise a huge hue & cry about being the deprived lot. If u need proof of this all u need to do is watch any channel that parades itself as a news channel and u will find a score of these entities busy criticising everything this country has except themselves and their mothers. These entities; do not pay taxes but demand good roads, save every paisa to send their sons and daughters abroad while raising a hue and cry about brain drain and finally either buy or sell the most sacred of all things that is Indian , the right to choose our leader, our vote for the price of 1/4th a bottle of Royal stag.

The disparity between those who have and those who dont is not the fault of those thousands who work in white collar IT jobs, but that of those who make every profession look cheap with pathetic facilities and abysmal wages. A country with a 1.2 billion in population and out of which 800 million is in the earning bracket has an depressing 24 million tax-payer strength. This measly 3% taxpayer strength has to fulfil the demands of the rest of the 97 % who contribute nothing, absolutely nothing to this country's growth. What a shame! and what a shameless 97% people.

Lets now come to the so called leaders of our nation. A country where more than 60% of the strength of its governing body is involved in criminal cases ranging from fraud to murder, has a lot to worry about. From the recent events in the over-hyped IT state and a state that has dedicated itself to pandering to internal and external addictions and obsessions, one can conclusively say that our politicians have found new depths to sink into. The depressing part is that neither do they regret it and nor do their supporters relinquish support. What a waste of such a population-wise young and vibrant country's present!

Enterprise is the foundation of our survival. Our people may trade in wide-ranging things such as tamarind seeds and human flesh but the aim has now improved from the yesteryear aim of survival to todays aim of middle class hedonism. If only we had the fore-sight and the self-discipline to reign ourselelves into a streamlined path we could shine for a long time.

Inspite of all these depressing and deflating Indian-ness, what finally shines through is the ability to live through adversity. Irrespective of the billion internal scuffles and acrimonious debates, any external pressure or offensive has been repelled with a solidarity and resoluteness that is seldom seen in people of similar upbringing,language or society let alone in the people of a country like India with more than 800 official languages and a million different castes and subdivisions. What is it that makes every Indian's skin pucker with goose-bumps and sends a shiver up his/her spine whenever his national spirits are stirred? Every single thread that goes into the tricolour is the representation of the courage and guts of the Indian people and their joy of living for the sake of living. It shows , when a billion throats bay and bellow from the base of their bellies whenever any foreign entitiy dares to even contemplate stepping on its breathing space. Beware, India is rising! patronise and perish, be a partner and profit.