Sunday 27 July 2008

Heads you win, tails I lose!

Let me tell you the inconvienience of choosing a career which is totally out of the box when compared to the friends that I grew up with. First is the total ignorance of each others worlds,dreams, goals and achievements. What I perceive as an earthshattering accomplishment would be something that my friends would probably deem insignificant and vice versa.

The loneliness that envelops me, when I manage to get some time off for vacations, is another. Imagine motivating oneself to do ridiculously difficult and absurdly disgusting things as part of our job all the while dreaming of the forth coming vacation. The ultimate carrot in front of a donkey with its ribs sticking out and struggling to drag a load of shit through a slushy patch in a jungle track in the rain. The hard earned vacation is all set to begin when the inevitable happens. Most of my friends who work according to the deadlines set by their bosses who sit a 22 hr flight away cant make it. I mope and groan but end up spending my vacations devouring a book a day , and curled up in front of the tv. The salt is however rubbed in when the next trip is planned and all arrangements are made and this time I cant make it. The point where I begin to pity myself is that, its either me or all of them who cant make it. Either way I end up the loser.

The freedom, of slogging like the proverbial donkey behind the carrot for 5 days of the week and eating the carrot in the weekend, is one I would adore. If that thought was not for the fun and the money and the hardwork it would definitely be for the fact that I miss the fun of spending time with friends I made wonderful memories with. I miss sharing the good and bad things in our life. A single phone call in a month in which we read out a list of what happened to each other is not nearly enough.

I guess destiny has a flowchart ready for us in which my friends and i have chosen differently at the many decision boxes and are now many page connectors away from each other.

2 comments:

Pink-Spotted Scrunch. said...

I read somewhere,"Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone."
Well, you win some you lose some...

wingsofdeztiny said...

True. I guess a compromise always carries the mild flavour of regret. Whether I have won or lost more is a question I think I would never venture to answer.